Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me
and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23
I like to
challenge myself. Lately I have been challenging myself with heart checks. Heart
checks are where I ask God to check the sincerity in my heart. What God is
revealing to me is how much I think and use my head and not my heart. God is not
only revealing things to me, He is changing my heart.
I
will be honest prior to my request I was a little all over the place, a little
bit in everyone else’s lane. Way too
often I thought I had the answers to everyone else’s problems—“why doesn’t she
just….”, “he should start”. What God
revealed is I have a lot of answers to other people’s situations when I am
avoiding something in my life or even more in the areas of my life that I am
not as confident.
Since my initial
request, I have made great strides, but I still have so far to go. I don’t want to
come across
as if after my request, I have arrived.
I am far from any arrival. I, like
Paul, die daily.
I
die every day--I mean that, brothers--just as surely as I glory over you in Christ
Jesus our Lord.
1
Corinthians 15:31
What I want more than anything is for things to break my
heart that break God’s heart. I want to
see people and feel compassion and love them the way God does. The funny thing about heart checks are how often
you’ll find yourself needing to do them with those you love dearly. As a matter of fact, I think it’s easier to veer
in the lane of family members and close friends. It is okay to give advice to close family and
friends but do it with caution and check your heart first…check your
motives.
Beware of practicing your
righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you
will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 6:1
At times, purely recognize when important people in your
life need to just pour out. Just listen
(and pray for them), don’t always feel the need to agree or disagree….just
listen.
In my effort to be “good” I feel like I have to agree with
people who pour out to me. What I know,
because God is putting a mirror in my face is that I can’t put on “good”. What He is telling me, is stop agreeing with
negativity, just to be a “good” friend.
Start praying more, and letting the Holy Spirit lead me if I really need
to say something.
What is so awesome about asking God to search me is that I
don’t feel shame about all of the ugly that I see. He still loves me, He still thinks I am
beautiful and He wants nothing more than for me to lean on Him to show me the
right way.
If you have never asked God to search your heart, I
recommend it; you would be amazed by what God reveals.
God Bless
~CShell